Coping with things that are out of your control

Your kid or kids are running a muck around the house, ignoring all your plea’s to settle down, your teenager has an attitude because her phone was taken away, you’re behind on bills because your unemployed or your job messed up on your pay check so you’re short etc, (insert your irritations here). All those little irritations that happen outside of us build up through the day & week. I get it we are only human and we can only take so much no matter how hard we try. I’m going to share a few of my coping skills through the years that I’ve learned through trial and error, now they may work for you or not but it doesn’t hurt to give them a try.

Give yourself a time out, yes a time out! Sometimes we need to escape for a breather by our selves, so when I get to this point and my teen or husband are home I let them know that I need time for myself to distress. A few things that I do is get a glass of wine and go outside on my balcony and enjoy it with mother nature and some tunes or a good podcast, a short walk around my community, a shower with relaxation music, essential oils and a candle to set a serene spa mood, a short guided meditation or simply just pray and ask God to fill me up with peace and patience.

Get into a morning ritual get up 30 minutes before your family gets up especially the little ones and soak in that quiet unbothered time by yourself. Do some journaling, read a good book or do a daily bible study, practice yoga and or meditation. If you’re not a fan of those things thats cool, then by all means just sit there with a cup of coffee or tea and sip by yourself and enjoy that me time, sis its well deserved. I personally do whatever I’m in the mood for, my morning ritual is to make coffee or tea, journaling, reading the bible followed by prayer. This just makes me feel more productive and sets the mood for my day to be less chaotic, add some morning yoga & meditation to make even sweeter.

If you have a unwanted BFF named anxiety and or depression disorder, I know we have relapses especially when we are under immense stress. When I do have hard days and my anxiety is through the roof I give myself extra T.L.C. and love because trust we need it at those times the most. I try not to allow all that negative chatter that tries to disrupt my peace and get the best of me. In the midst of it I’ll reach out to my support tribe its either my bestie, cousin or my husband. Talking it out even though it calls for strength to verbalize and tell someone your crazy anxious thoughts and feelings it does make you feel better to let it out with someone that understands and is nonjudgmental. Your vulnerability equals strength, so remember that. Don’t underestimate a breathing technique an simple inhale and exhale and being still reaps great benefits under stress, it soothes your bodies fight or flight mode.

Lastly, we can do everything and some and still feel like we’re falling apart. That was me and I’m not afraid to admit it. So I started seeing a therapist once a week for now. Its still too soon to tell you that its working, however I do enjoy my sessions with my therapist. Its important to find one that you click with and have great chemistry with, yes just like any relationship after all you’re going to be telling your therapist your truths & you have to feel comfortable with them. I also decided to get back on my anxiety medication as much as I wanted to be off them and do this on my own my mental health just couldn’t cope at this time without it, I need that extra serotonin in my brain and I have no shame in admitting that. I can share about my medications at a later time. My point is that seeking additional help from professionals and medication is also a option available for you don’t be afraid or embarrassed to do so. May you restore & reflect today and have a wonderful week ahead set your goals and prep for the week ahead.

“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” –Wayne Dyer

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